Is Part of Addiction Mind over Matter?

Hello again, Deborah here.

Most of us know that addiction to nicotine can be a mental habit, as much as it is physical.

During the trials of quitting (approximately 5-6 attempts over several years) I have learned many things about the way my mind works around emotions and thought processes in general, particularly around my addiction to this controlling drug.

On my way through a seemingly unrelated journey – my battle with an emotional disorder called Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) – I took a clinical program called Dialectical Behaviour Therapy (DBT). Some of the skills taught in DBT are so helpful that people outside the DBT programs seem to be learning about, accessing and now applying them to their daily life via self-help outlets. Continue reading

You smoke? … But aren’t you pregnant?

Almost six years ago was when my roller coaster with smoking and pregnancy began. After only a few months of dating my husband we found out that I was pregnant with our first. Scared, excited, stressed out, off we went to the doctors to confirm it was true. Well it was definitely true! And there was when the dreaded question began… “Do you smoke?” (Every time I went to the doctors from this point on, smoking would become a major discussion) “yes” I mumbled reluctantly. From that moment on I felt that the doctor was doing nothing but judging me, regardless of what she told me. She asked me if I knew the side effects of smoking while pregnant, and even though I told her that yes I was indeed aware of the unfortunate effects it could have on my baby and pregnancy.

I tried my best to not smoke as many in a day, thinking to myself that I would gradually just cut down until I quit. There was always an excuse though. I had no other way (or so I thought) to deal with my stressors, and believed that having a cigarette was actually solving something. Of course, it was not. Continue reading

Embarrassed? Ashamed? Guilty?

These are feelings that may come every time a cigarette is inhaled, especially when your’re pregnant and expecting, but still smoking. No matter how hard I try I just can’t seem to kick the habit, and I am sure I’m not alone.

My name is Llew and I’ve been a smoker for about 9 years. I am 24 years old and currently pregnant with my second child., I have a beautiful daughter who is soon to turn 3. Unfortunately I could not bring myself to quit smoking during my first pregnancy, and it’s looking to be the same for my second as I am currently around 32 weeks pregnant and still smoking. Continue reading

Allow Me to Introduce Myself

My name is Deborah and I am a 32-year-old smoker. I started smoking when I was 15. Both my parents smoke and when I started, I did so because many of my friends also smoked. As well, seeing my friends and my father doing it made me wonder why it was so “popular”. Despite warnings from family, I continued to smoke. I would later come to realize that it isn’t a popularity thing but an addiction and a nasty, life-controlling one. I wish I had never started and I am sure many people currently trying to quit as well as ex-smokers can relate to this feeling.

Flash forward to the present…I am currently 35 weeks + 5 days into my third pregnancy and it has been a process for me to quit smoking. Continue reading

Solitary? …Voluntary!

“You have brains in your head. You have feet in your shoes. You can steer yourself any direction you choose. You’re on your own. And you know what you know. And YOU are the one who’ll decide where to go…”

-Dr. Seuss

The above quote highlights a couple of facts that links a personal meaning to me and my smoking habit. When I read the above quote, it mentions “You’re on your own” this is how I feel about smoking. Smoking has always been a private aspect of my life; I do not disclose my smoking to anyone. I did not tell my family doctor, friends, or colleagues at work that I smoked. Continue reading

Who Am I?


Well, my name is Tracie and I am twenty-five years old. I am a mother of three. Two of which I am blessed enough to get to spend every day with, and one of which I only got to spend a few very cherished minutes with.

My struggle with smoking began about twelve years ago, when I was afraid I was not going to fit in with my ‘friends’. Smoking was nothing new to me, growing up my parents smoked. Almost every person that was around me who I looked up to… smoked. Being as young as I was, I figured if I only had one or two a day, I couldn’t possibly get addicted like they were or have it affect me.

Was I ever WRONG! Continue reading

My name is Ruma, and I am a smoker

Have you ever asked yourself; what role does smoking play in my life? Am I a really addicted to smoking? Since the first cigarette I had, I have asked these questions to myself.  I was 16 years old when I had my first cigarette and knew that I had control over it. I told myself, “I can quit whenever I want, I won’t get addicted”. I convinced myself, “I am not really a smoker, because I can quit”. I never admitted to smoking, and had a plan that I would quit when I got married. But when I got married, it didn’t seem like the right time. My next opportunity to quit was when I was planning to have a baby, but that was too stressful and didn’t seem like the right time either. The time was never right.

I was slowly starting to realize that smoking was controlling my life, and I did not have control over the smoking, it had control over me. I felt like I was at an AA meeting, trying to admit to myself that I am a smoker. I had to say “My name is Ruma, and I am a smoker”. Continue reading