Who Am I?

question

Well, my name is Tracie and I am twenty-five years old. I am a mother of three. Two of which I am blessed enough to get to spend every day with, and one of which I only got to spend a few very cherished minutes with.

My struggle with smoking began about twelve years ago, when I was afraid I was not going to fit in with my ‘friends’. Smoking was nothing new to me, growing up my parents smoked. Almost every person that was around me who I looked up to… smoked. Being as young as I was, I figured if I only had one or two a day, I couldn’t possibly get addicted like they were or have it affect me.

Was I ever WRONG! I started smoking more and more. I found myself hanging out with people who smoked, and the addiction just got worse. Now not only was I addicted to them, and craving them… if I was hanging out with my friends and they had one, I had one too just out of habit… even if I had just had one a minute before. I had people buying me packs and cartons because I was obviously not old enough to go myself and get them. My parents all smoked in the house, and I did the same. At first they didn’t realize, I would clean out the ash tray after smoking and as for the smell… well they were so used to it themselves it just blended in. Even when they realized, none of them really did anything about it. How could they? They all smoked too. When I think back over the years, the only good thing about smoking was meeting my husband because we both happened to be outside having a cigarette at the same time and place.

When I got pregnant, I thought about quitting but thought that it would be too hard. I smoked through all three pregnancies, I breastfed one child while smoking as well. Then, one day I was fed up, I did not want to be the reason my children started to smoke or continued smoking. And I did not want my life to be controlled by cigarettes any longer. The night I went in to labour with my youngest, I had a cigarette on my way to the hospital. As I inhaled that last bit I made the decision to FINALLY quit. Even though quite a few people around me still smoke (even my husband) I vowed to never have one again, and I haven’t.

So who am I? I am a mother, a wife, a daughter, a granddaughter, a friend and thankfully an EX-smoker!