In my last post I mentioned that I would be interviewing my husband and our daughter about their feelings towards my quitting smoking. Below are the questions I asked them along with their responses.
My interview with Our daughter:
Do you remember when mommy used to smoke?
“Yes, before Carter was out of your tummy.”
Do you think smoking is good or bad?
“It’s really bad, right?”
Are you proud (happy) that mommy does not smoke anymore?
Why are you happy about it?
“Because you don’t smell yucky anymore, and it’s bad for you do- you aren’t doing bad things anymore.”
Are you going to smoke when you grow up?
“Not really because it’s yucky”
I know it is not very detailed but to hear my daughter say these things, meant the world to me. Although she is young I do hope that she follows through, and never has a cigarette.
My interview with my husband was a little more detailed:
Were you surprised when I decided to quit smoking so suddenly?
“Yes, definitely. I had no idea you were thinking about it.”
Did you think I was going to follow through with it after we got home from the hospital?
“No, I figured you would maybe last a day or so.”
Did you think about quitting as well?
“No, I wasn’t ready. I am still not. I tried to cut back to make it easier for you though.”
Do you think you will ever quit?
“Honestly, I don’t know. I don’t think I could ever do it, not sure I have the will power for it. Too dependant on them.”
What was it like for you when I quit smoking?
“Stressful. I didn’t want to upset you. Tried to avoid you, and keep my smoking from you. It definitely didn’t work though. Any time I would walk up to you, you would tell me I stink and it actually hurt my feelings. You were a lot more moody, short tempered. It didn’t last long but it still wasn’t easy for me. Nothing seemed to make you happy. I was proud of you for being strong, but it wasn’t easy for me either.”
How did me not smoking anymore affect you?
“I learned to smoke faster so I wasn’t out there alone when we were home, and so that when we were out in social settings you weren’t alone because all of our friends smoke.”
Are you surprised that I am over 9 months without a cigarette now?
“Yes, very surprised. But I couldn’t be more proud of you either. There were times I thought you would definitely have one, and you pulled through.”
Do you think it will be hard to talk to our kids about the affects of smoking and that they shouldn’t do it?
“I will be fine to talk to them of course, but it may be harder for me to convince them not to smoke if I myself still am I guess.”
Do you have anything else to say or maybe something I didn’t ask you that you think is worth mentioning?
“Just that I am so proud of you, and I am sorry I can’t quit for you. I know it would make it easier, I am just not ready.”
I had no idea I was making my husband feel so negative about himself by my comments. I honestly never even realized I was being so short with him, and the last thing I would have wanted to do was hurt him. This mini interview has been a great learning and growing experience for us, that is for sure.