Working On It

I am now 27 weeks pregnant and boy is the baby moving! This is the time where the baby’s position turns from upwards to downwards. I love the sensation I feel. I can’t wait for my next ultrasound. I’m having one done at eight months and maybe this time they will be able to tell me the sex of my child. I really, really want to know!

I’ve had a pretty stress-free February. I am currently involved in a program at CAMH for mood and anxiety disorders. It’s called AIM (Alternative Inpatient Milieu) and here I attend group sessions as well as individual counseling. Anyone can be referred, you don’t have to be part of the CAMH network. The program lasts for four weeks and you live and eat here. On the weekends you get passes to go home. It’s really helping me a lot, especially with quitting smoking. Because I have to walk off the property to have a cigarette, I don’t do it very often. It has become a chore.

I smoke three per day now and I’ve also been able to cut back because the dosage of my nicotine patches has been increased from 21 mg to 28 mg. The stronger patches have definitely curbed the majority of my cravings. To equal the 28 mg, I have to wear a large 21 mg patch and a small 7 mg patch. I take the 7 mg patch off at bedtime but keep the larger dose on for 24 hours. Some people can’t keep the patch on at night because it effects their sleep but I don’t sleep well anyways so I do not notice any extra stimulation.

Smoking at home is still a huge challenge because my mother smokes in the apartment (and she smokes quite a bit). When I went home this weekend I smoked almost ten per day. That was a real big setback for me. It’s so easy to just spark up a smoke so I told my mom when I move back in after my program is done I really need her to help me out and change her smoking habits. It would be very helpful for me if she would use the bathroom with the fan on and she said she will. And I’m also going to plan to put on my coat and shoes and physically go outside to have my cigarette.

I still don’t know when my last smoke will be, but I’m happy with the fact that I am cutting back more each month. My next goal is to have only one a day and then zero.

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