Introduction to me and my story

Over the next few months, in this blog I will be describing my experiences of quitting smoking before, during and after pregnancy.

First things first: I am a twenty-eight year old mother of three beautiful little girls, ages three (almost four), one and a half (almost two), and just six months. I married my best friend who, I’ve known for the past five years. I started smoking at the age of ten, something I don’t recommend. I plan to explain this to my girls when they are older. I have tried to quit many times and could never really get up the self-esteem to go longer than a month.

I am currently enrolled in a stop smoking clinic in Hamilton ON. When I started at the clinic I was smoking upwards of fifteen to twenty cigarettes a day. Now, three weeks in and I am down to around five to ten a day. When I started I was not very confident that I could quit smoking, but in that short amount of time I have cut my smoking in half and my confidence had gone up from a five to a six. I feel like I can really do it this time.

There are many things that have affected me. The big one is stress: there is money, work, kids and things that are out of my control. I know it’s harder when people say things to you like “just quit”, or “just put them down”. But it is hard to quit and don’t let anyone tell you it’s not. My first stress factor is my girls. Don’t get me wrong I love them all with every fiber of my being, but three under the age of four can be a lot. But even more stressful is that my children are currently in the care of Children’s Aid Society because someone (we don’t know who for sure) has abused them. Another big stress factor for me is not having my own income. Since my oldest daughter was born I have been a stay at home mom. My husband is the sole income earner in our house. It is pretty embarrassing to ask for money to buy tampons and food.

I am going to end this on a lighter note by saying: it is a hard road and a long one, but I know I can do it with help from friends, family and complete strangers who blog about quitting smoking. If you need someone to talk to, please feel to talk to me. Not only can I help you by listening to you, but you can help me by talking with me. We all need help sometimes, there is no harm in seeking it out.

Good Luck.

Lucy H.

Stress & Staying Smoke Free

Near the end of November, my husband and I were out for dinner one night when we got the one of the worst phone calls we could possibly get. My husbands very BEST friend (brother is more like it) and my children’s Godfather had been in an accident and was in the hospital.  Naturally we packed up and drove to see him. We had no idea what we were about to walk into when we got to the hospital. When we arrived, we were informed that he was not going to make it.  Continue reading

A letter to my first cigarette

Dear my first cigarette,

Although it has been many years now since I had you, you have been on my mind a lot lately.  I am coming up to a year smoke free, And I think about you almost every day. I think about hiding behind some trees at a nearby park and lighting you with a Bic lighter that I had stolen from my mom, along with you. Had I only had the courage to tell my ‘friends’ that it probably was not a good idea if I did it. If only I knew what lighting you would do to me for over a decade. I wish I would have dropped you on the ground, and shredded you to pieces. Better yet, I almost wish I had smoked you, or tried to anyway but I wish that instead of laughing when I coughed (choking), that I would have been honest, and admitted how disgusting you were. How horrible you tasted, how the taste dried out my mouth, and made me feel like puking. That the scent you left on my fingers, was terrible. I wish I would have used that as a lesson learned, and never to smoke again. But, that is not how our story panned out, now it is? Continue reading

How I will speak to my children about smoking.

When I was younger, most people around me smoked. My parents smoked, in the car, in the house as well. Neither of them spoke to me about smoking, about it being bad, or the affects it could have on me, or the people around me. My mom smoked while she was pregnant with me, smoking just seemed… normal. My mother started buying me cigarettes when I was under age, she figured it would be easier for her to buy them, than for me to keep stealing the, or finding other ways to purchase them. When my husband was a child, his father did not smoke but his mother did. He was even younger than I was when he started smoking. It was also influenced by friends he had that were older than him. He used to steal cigarettes from his moms packs, but when he got caught, instead of explaining to him that he shouldn’t smoke, she was just concerned about him stealing. I do believe that part of the way our parents handled things was partially due to the fact that there wasn’t quite as much information available to them as there is to us now. It also was not expressed how severe the affects could be. Continue reading

How Do the Holidays Affect Your Quitting?

Luckily, since I smoke outside and not in my home, I get a little deterred from smoking too much during the winter. It’s cold in Canada! But…I still find it harder to quit smoking during the holidays. Here are some reasons why:

I get the feeling of wanting to indulge. Since a smoke right after eating a meal, especially a large meal, is very satisfying for me I find it very tempting to eat lots of yummy things and then follow up with a smoke. Continue reading