My Experience

Well everyone who has been following my posts, I thank you very much for the support! This will be my final post 🙂

What has it been like blogging for Pregnets?

My experience being a blogger for Pregnets has been wonderful. I have thoroughly enjoyed every step of the way. It has made me realize how much I like to write, but also how much I like to read as well. It has made me dig deeper into some of my own thoughts about my smoking/my quitting. It has also brought me closer with my husband after we had a chance to discuss how he has been feeling through this process.  It was interesting for me to discuss with so many other people their experiences, and the methods that they chose to use/try. Continue reading

A Letter To The Younger Me

Dear little Lucy,

Hey there sweety, you are such a smart girl. I know right now you are feeling like you are so unpopular, not pretty and not smart. I am writing this letter to you to let you know that you ARE beautiful and smart and you will be popular.

Right now you are feeling like your sister is a lot “cooler” than you, prettier than you and smarter than you. I just want to let you know, that she is those things but you are too. You don’t need to compare yourself to anyone. You are a great girl, and you will go far in this world. But you need to know that soon your friends will bug you about doing something that you are not comfortable with. I beg you to not give in. Continue reading

Identity and Being Part of a Club

With my due date around the corner, this will probably be my last post as a pregnant woman. I’ve just become used to being a part of this club and have really loved the experience of being pregnant, connecting with other moms and their experiences, the knowing looks and even the advice from random strangers in the street. Thinking about the next club I will be a part of, the mom club, has got me thinking about identity and how our circumstances and shared experiences with peers shape that identity. I once heard it said that the world of adults is separated by those who have kids and those who don’t, and I have certainly never crossed such a huge threshold before in my life as the one I am about to cross—from child to parent. Continue reading

Dear Ashtray…

Dear Ashtray,

You were first bought for me in 1994 when I was 16 yrs old. A beautiful grey and white circular marble with Japanese writing and the letter “M” engraved on the bottom. You were a gift from my mother. Who, back then, had quit smoking for 16 yrs. She would eventually make it to 20 yrs and then due to all life’s stressors, the sudden death of her brother, a mid-life crisis, a new relationship, and falling ill herself, she took up the terrible habit of smoking again! Continue reading

Once Upon a Time Ruma Quit Smoking… is it THE END?

Once upon a time, there was a girl named Ruma. She was a smoker and knew smoking was bad for her health and the health of her future pregnancies and children. In 2014 Ruma found out she was pregnant and quit smoking cold turkey. As the nicotine detoxified from her body, she gained many health benefits. Her senses returned, and she was feeling an increase in energy and motivation. She felt secure that she was giving her baby a healthy environment to grow. Ruma had a healthy baby boy and they lived smoke free happily ever after….THE END.

WAIT…the above story is fictional. Continue reading

A Letter To My Children

Dear Girls,

Hello my darlings, let me start off by saying I love you all very much. You three are the reasons I get up each day and the reason for my continuous smile. I am writing you this letter not only to let you know how much you all mean to me, but also how I feel about smoking.

I have never denied that smoking is a bad thing to do; even when I was younger I knew it was wrong. But now that I’m older and I see how you all feel when daddy and I smoke it hurts my heart. And I wish that I never started. But now that I have my three beautiful princesses asking me to stop and seeing you cry when I put playing on hold to have a cigarette, makes me know I need to change my ways. Continue reading

Top 10 Fails and Top 10 Wins in My Battle to Stay Quit

Ten ways in which I feel I am failing my quitting smoking battle:

  1. I feel like I am running out of time to do the work of convincing myself to stay quit after the baby comes.
  2. I have been putting off setting up supports and a plan for dealing with triggers post birth (not so much on purpose but there are just so many other things to prepare and complete before the big day that I haven’t given much time to this one).
  3. I still see myself as a smoker in many ways.
  4. I fear that once I am not sharing my body with my baby all of my reasons and reasoning will go out the window.
  5. I attribute all my will power to being pregnant and don’t allow myself to own/be proud of what I’ve managed to accomplish so far because I am filled with self-doubt about my ability to stay quit.
  6. I don’t know how or what I should be doing to prepare myself for staying quit on my own after the baby comes, i.e. I feel lost still.
  7. People keep warning me about the sleep deprivation to come and that terrifies me because I crave cigarettes the most when I am tired and my resilience is low.
  8. I still want to smoke and feel like if I knew when that would just go away forever that I could at least count that down but the fact that it feels like I will struggle with it forever is debilitating and frustrating to say the least.
  9. I’m still dreaming about smoking.
  10. I’m still thinking about smoking in my waking hours as well.

10 ways I am succeeding in my quitting smoking battle:
Continue reading