Have you ever asked yourself; what role does smoking play in my life? Am I a really addicted to smoking? Since the first cigarette I had, I have asked these questions to myself. I was 16 years old when I had my first cigarette and knew that I had control over it. I told myself, “I can quit whenever I want, I won’t get addicted”. I convinced myself, “I am not really a smoker, because I can quit”. I never admitted to smoking, and had a plan that I would quit when I got married. But when I got married, it didn’t seem like the right time. My next opportunity to quit was when I was planning to have a baby, but that was too stressful and didn’t seem like the right time either. The time was never right.
I was slowly starting to realize that smoking was controlling my life, and I did not have control over the smoking, it had control over me. I felt like I was at an AA meeting, trying to admit to myself that I am a smoker. I had to say “My name is Ruma, and I am a smoker”. Continue reading